unaccomplished
academically/career-wise, i’ve had the most “productive” summer yet. and i feel like i’ve accomplished next to nothing. actually i’ve felt the most “accomplished” during the past 5 days, and none of that has involved paid work. it hasn’t particularly involved a lot of work either :) of course this is at the expense of my parents’ sanity. and by extension, mine.
my sister left today for thailand (am i jealous? why would i be? oh yeah because i was supposed to go to malaysia?) for two weeks, leaving behind a tantrum-throwing 6 year-old. a tantrum throwing 6 year old who within the span of just one day now believes the barbie that grandma bought her was a *good* thing that helped her forget the pain of having to temporarily say goodbye to her mother (this is precisely what she told me)…and who had way more dessert in one day (not my fault aph- i tried to stop it from happening) than she normally has in a week.  it’s not so much that she (sakina) is upset at the separation (dont get me wrong- she is!) that causes her fits; it’s that she now understands that certain people can be swayed to do her bidding to ease her fits, so she exaggerates them to get what she wants. i know i’m supposed to be the aunt that believes her niece can do no harm, but come on! kids need consistency. i’m not a huge fan of my sister’s way of controlling sakina’s intake of sugary stuff, but i would support it anyway if i was in charge. sakina knows very well that i am not the one in charge, and those tears come ten times easier when her mother’s not around.
kids. it’s not so much particular kids that i miss while i’m away at school- i just miss the presence of kids. there’s something creepy about living in a simulated environment (college town) where kids basically don’t exist. i mean they do, but as college students we have virtually no interaction on a daily basis with anyone younger than us. isn’t that awkward? even though slightly contrived, we do have limited interaction with our elders because our professors, bus drivers (some), and others are older, but young children are hardly anywhere to be found.
you know what else makes life awkward? being single. (oh snap did she just write that?) it’s true what they say; i can’t recall the arabic word, but ones “natural” state, or the state at which they should be, is not alone. single people have a hard time saying this, or even discussing the issue of marriage. i mean they discuss it plenty, but only in abstract or material terms (ex: “i want to wear a red dress”/”sigh, i’m so depressed”/”why are guys so stupid?”). i was having a conversation recently where a recent grad was discussing all his/her (i’ll keep it as anonymous as possible, but really, this could be anyone) upcoming plans. at this point the small group discussing this was just rambling (grad school? switch jobs in a year? mba? move out?), and it was getting downright repetitive, so i poked fun by bringing up the M word just to see him/her squirm. that was pretty amusing. so even though it’s taboo for single people (in particular, muslim single people) to talk about marriage, i’ve decided that it’s annoying to skirt the issue. it might be fine and dandy for some chick from the motherland to be all “deer-in-the-headlights” and “look-shy-on-your-wedding-day-or-people-will-judge-you” when it comes to marriage, but i think i’m just too american for that.
in other news, i got the tiniest shard of glass under my nail and i can feel it. :(